Thursday, May 6, 2010

Top 10 Signs your Church May Be About To Drink “Calf Juice”

"Moses took the calf they had made and burned it in the fire; then he ground it to powder, scattered it on the water and made the Israelites drink it."

10. The children’s playground has been replaced with a prayer labyrinth.

9. “Be still and know that I am God,” seems to be the only Bible verse anyone has memorized.

8. When the pastor says, ”Let us pray,” everyone pulls out their meditation mats.

7. A large part of the church budget is used to purchase a laser light system, dry ice, and incense.

6. Nooma videos.

5. The Sunday School classes are empty, but the “Christian” yoga classes are booming.

4. Instead of sharing the gospel with people, you go on “prayer walks.”

3. A desire to know and study God’s Word is described as dead orthodoxy.

2. The term “creative worship” is viewed very positively.

1. The soloist called in sick because her fifth chakra was blocked, and everyone actually knew what that meant.

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